Friend
Tuesday September 16, 2008
[frend]
-noun
- a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard.
- a person who gives assistance; patron; supporter: friends of the Boston Symphony.
- a person who is on good terms with another; a person who is not hostile: Who goes there? Friend or foe?
My professor recently said something to the class which I found quite interesting and mildly perplexing, especially given my sordid relation with the term. He called those in his class, myself included, friends. I immediately wondered what his definition of friend was for him to be able to refer to us as such. As I’ve come to know him, I realize it is a combination of the definitions above.
Now, I’ve had a serious problem defining the word friend for the better part of my life. This was primarily due to narrow-mindedness on my part. You see, I defined the word friend and friendship based largely in part on my own desires. So, a friend was someone that, mostly for the worst, was someone that gave conditioned responses to my desires. It had nothing to do with, as the definition states above, attachment to another by feelings of affection or personal regard, one I give assistance to, or someone I am on good terms with. As a result, those whom I called friends were very small, and any perceived insult on my part would make that circle even smaller.
After reading the Nicomachean Ethics, I realized that friends are an integral part of living the blessed life. Even the Proverbs, which is a part of the sacred writings of the faith to which I affirm, says that friends are good. No wonder my life seemed little blessed at times. I was so wrapped up what I felt the other person should, or shouldn’t do, that I didn’t even consider whether or not I showed any affection, assisted, or was on good terms with anyone, save a select few. Does this mean I should be, or am friends, with everyone? No way hoe-zay. Proverbs is pretty clear that one should be careful who I associate with. The wrong friends can make it very difficult to live the blessed life, or even lead to disastrous ruin.
What I am convinced of is this, that in service to Christ, I should seek to be a conduit for his working in the lives of others as their friend by showing affection, assisting them when appropriate and in ways that are prudent, and being on good terms with others as best I can. When I cannot, I’ve found it’s best to, at the very least, affirm my affection and love for them, and leave it at that.